Mental health remains a sensitive topic in North Macedonia and across the region, while stigma continues to be strong, especially toward men. In a society where masculinity is associated with strength, endurance, and emotional silence, acknowledging psychological difficulties is often perceived as a sign of weakness. Expressions such as “men don’t cry” create constant pressure, pushing many men to keep their concerns to themselves and hesitate to seek professional help.
To better understand the impact of patriarchal norms, socio-economic factors, and the role of the family, school, and workplace in this phenomenon, we spoke with sociologist Drita Memedi.
In this interview for Mollëkuqjashe discusses the roots of stigma and the need for cultural and structural changes that could enable a more open approach to men’s mental well-being.
Memedi says that cultural norms in our society play a very important role in shaping social orientation and influencing the way social behavior is expressed.
“These norms and the patriarchal spirit make it difficult for men to speak openly about their mental health, because they fear they would be judged. As a result, their concerns are often kept inside and remain untreated. When men’s internal struggles remain unaddressed, they often erupt as aggression toward the opposite gender,” Memedi emphasizes.
According to her, the family is the main factor in the socialization of an individual. It is there that children receive their first life lessons. Within the family, a boy is often taught from an early age that he must be strong, that nothing should shake a man, and that“men don’t cry.””.
“It is also there that relatives arrive at the door calling out ‘the man of the house’, and where the child first becomes familiar with the concept of a ‘house without a man’. The use of such notions is enough to shape the behavior of a man who, even under great stress, frustration, and psychological burden, becomes afraid to seek psychological help because he may be perceived as weak and stigmatized by the family, school, and workplace,” the sociologist explains.
She further explained the role of socio-economic factors in increasing the risk of mental health problems among men.
Drita Memedi says that in our societies the man is usually considered the head of the family, and as such he is expected to carry full responsibility for taking care of his family, since the family’s burden is believed to fall primarily on him.
“This perception has deep roots in our tradition. Even today there are men who do not allow their wives to take paid jobs outside the home because, in the eyes of society, they would appear weakor as if they had given up their role as the head of the family who provides for it. Such a heavy responsibility placed on men can also harm their mental health, because they fear losing their jobs, and if that happens, many feel compelled to migrate in order to secure a better future for their families,” Memedi stresses.
She explains that socio-economic factors keep men under constant pressure, as the role of the family provider has been imposed on them and society has created numerous expectations toward them.
Which structural interventions and cultural changes would be necessary to transform society’s approach to men’s mental well-being?
The sociologist says that cultural change requires time, commitment, and continuous transformation of socio-cultural elements.
“We cannot expect our society to change instantly or all at once. A change in the way cultural norms are understood and interpreted should begin within the family and continue through schools and other important social institutions. Families should not create excessive expectations of their child simply because he was born male,” Memedi says.
In conclusion, she emphasizes that our society must learn to accept that there are moments when men cannot cope,moments when they feel the need to cry, and moments when they are vulnerable.
