Imagjinojeni k\u00ebt\u00eb situat\u00eb:<\/p>\n
Jeni duke ecur rrug\u00ebs dhe rast\u00ebsisht jua pret udh\u00ebn nj\u00eb shit\u00ebs ambulant or\u00ebsh.<\/p>\n
\u201cShikoje k\u00ebt\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb or\u00eb origjinale! Blije se e ke me gjysm\u00eb \u00e7mimi.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ti me fytyr\u00eb indiferente e refuzon me mir\u00ebsjellje<\/p>\n
\u201cJo, faleminderit, s\u2019ia kam nevoj\u00ebn or\u00ebve.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShikoje, shikoje!\u201d t\u00eb thot\u00eb. Ti nuk i kthen p\u00ebrgjigje. Ai vazhdon t\u00eb t\u00eb ndjek\u00eb pas p\u00ebr t\u00eb ta marr\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen.<\/p>\n
\u201cPo k\u00ebt\u00eb?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJo faleminderit, t\u00eb lutem m\u00eb l\u00ebr t\u00eb qet\u00eb tani.\u201d \u2013 i p\u00ebrgjigjesh.<\/p>\n
Ai insiston. Teksa ti kthehesh p\u00ebr n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi fillon t\u00eb ta bllokoj\u00eb rrug\u00ebn. Ti i kalon anash. T\u00eb t\u00ebrheq nga krah\u00ebt, a ti largohesh me forc\u00eb. Arrin n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por ai ende nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb larguar. Kjo rrug\u00eb gjer n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, q\u00eb ti e kaloje p\u00ebrdit\u00eb n\u00eb qet\u00ebsi dhe q\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi e shijoje, sot u b\u00eb e bezdisshme. E v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ti mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrballeshe me t\u00eb, por sa je i\/e sigurt q\u00eb mund ta mundje? Edhe fundja, a ia vlen ta b\u00ebsh at\u00eb gj\u00eb me gjith\u00eb ato njer\u00ebz p\u00ebrreth? Ti i imagjinon gjith\u00eb ato fjal\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb thuhen, e gjith\u00eb at\u00eb turp q\u00eb do t\u00eb ndjesh.<\/p>\n
Imagjinojeni t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn situat\u00eb, por tani me dhjetra shit\u00ebs t\u00eb till\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb duke luftuar q\u00eb t\u00eb ta t\u00ebrheqin v\u00ebmendjen, kush me sjellje m\u00eb t\u00eb hijshme, e kush me sjellje m\u00eb barbare, duke insistuar q\u00eb ti ta blesh nj\u00eb or\u00eb pavar\u00ebsisht se sa her\u00eb u ke th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019ke interes.<\/p>\n
Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb Situata A, tani ndiqeni Situat\u00ebn B:<\/p>\n
Je duke ecur dhe ta pret udh\u00ebn nj\u00eb shit\u00ebs ambulant or\u00ebsh. Ai sadopak ta t\u00ebrheq v\u00ebmendjen.<\/p>\n
\u201cShikoje k\u00ebt\u00eb or\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb origjinale! Blije se e ke me gjysm\u00eb \u00e7mimi.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ti mendohesh. \u201cPa ti shoh nj\u00ebher\u00eb.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shit\u00ebsi ti tregon or\u00ebt, ti blen nj\u00eb a dy, dhe sa her\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb nevojitet or\u00eb e re vazhdimisht e kontakton at\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Ekziston nj\u00eb dallim thelb\u00ebsor mes Situat\u00ebs A dhe B, tek e para, interesi yt nuk p\u00ebrputhej me interesin e shit\u00ebsit, e megjithat\u00eb, ai insistonte q\u00eb ta impononte interesin e vet n\u00eb ty, duke krijuar k\u00ebshtu nj\u00eb situat\u00eb t\u00eb pak\u00ebndshme dhe t\u00eb pad\u00ebshiruar p\u00ebr ty. N\u00eb situat\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb, interesat e t\u00eb dyve u p\u00ebrputhen dhe arrit\u00ebt t\u00eb komunikoni n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme dhe duke p\u00ebrfituar q\u00eb t\u00eb dy.<\/p>\n
Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb dallimi thelb\u00ebsor, \u00e7udit\u00ebrisht shpeshher\u00eb i paqart\u00eb, mes ngacmimit t\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu, dhe flirtimit me t\u00eb. Pavar\u00ebsisht se ka shtresime tjera, dallimi gjendet mes interesave t\u00eb dy personave dhe imponimit (ose jo) t\u00eb nj\u00ebrit nga individ\u00ebve.<\/p>\n
Ekziston nj\u00eb ide e \u00e7uditshme, kryesisht n\u00eb bot\u00ebn mashkullore, q\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebse do t\u00eb jesh s\u00eb bashku me nj\u00eb person tjet\u00ebr duhet t\u00eb insistosh pavar\u00ebsisht refuzimit. Duhet t\u00eb tregosh q\u00eb je i gatsh\u00ebm t\u00eb b\u00ebsh gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr vete, t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh qesharak, t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh i friksh\u00ebm, t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh i bezdissh\u00ebm, vet\u00ebm e vet\u00ebm q\u00eb ai ose ajo t\u00eb t\u00eb jap\u00eb nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi. Edhe m\u00eb e \u00e7uditshmja \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb shum\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb biseda njer\u00ebzit krenohen me k\u00ebt\u00eb sjellje. E quajn\u00eb madje flirtim dhe tregojn\u00eb se sa t\u00eb aft\u00eb jan\u00eb p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr vete nj\u00eb person p\u00ebrmes k\u00ebtyre strategjive, q\u00eb i kan\u00eb rafinuar sigurisht nd\u00ebr vite, p\u00ebrmes eksperiencave t\u00eb panum\u00ebrta. E v\u00ebrteta ama \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb nj\u00eblloj si\u00e7 nuk mund t\u00eb themi p\u00ebr shit\u00ebsin e Situat\u00ebs A q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shit\u00ebs i mir\u00eb, ashtu edhe n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste \u201ckazanovizmi\u201d i k\u00ebtyre personave \u00ebsht\u00eb tep\u00ebrsisht i diskutuesh\u00ebm.<\/p>\n
\u201cE si mund t\u00eb bisedojm\u00eb at\u00ebher\u00eb me nj\u00eb person n\u00ebse \u00e7do tentativ\u00eb komunikimi ndaj tyre qenka ngacmim?\u201d \u2013 \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb pyetje e d\u00ebgjuar shpesh. P\u00ebrgjigjja \u00ebsht\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb: askush nuk ia mohon askujt t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn t\u00eb tentoj\u00eb t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb kontakte dhe t\u00eb flas\u00eb me nj\u00eb person tjet\u00ebr, qoft\u00eb sy m\u00eb sy, qoft\u00eb onlajn (dhe sigurisht k\u00ebto raste duhen b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb momente t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshme; nj\u00eb shembull qesharak por mjaft i kuptuesh\u00ebm do t\u00eb ishte: sigurisht q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb flirtoje me nj\u00eb person n\u00eb varrim; ose kur \u00ebsht\u00eb me t\u00eb dashurin\/\u00ebn e vet; ose kur \u00ebsht\u00eb me familjen e vet; ose kur sapo e ka thyer k\u00ebmb\u00ebn etj. pra \u00e7do k\u00ebrkon situat\u00eb nj\u00eb\u00a0common sense<\/em>), por nj\u00eblloj, askush nuk ia mohon dot t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn personit tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb t\u00eb refuzoj\u00eb t\u00eb kontaktoj\u00eb me ty, ose t\u00eb jet\u00eb indiferent ndaj mesazheve t\u00eb tua. Ashtu si\u00e7 nuk mund ta detyrosh nj\u00eb person q\u00eb t\u00eb haj\u00eb me zor, nj\u00eblloj nuk e detyron dot t\u00eb t\u00eb flas\u00eb me zor. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ide shum\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb b\u00ebsh ndonj\u00eb gjimnastik\u00eb t\u00eb st\u00ebrholluar mendore p\u00ebr ta kuptuar.<\/p>\n Ekziston pra nj\u00eb dallim mes ngacmimit dhe flirtimit: n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb tentimi yt p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb n\u00eb kontakt me nj\u00eb person i kap\u00ebrcen kufijt\u00eb personal\u00eb t\u00eb atij personi, e b\u00ebn t\u00eb ndihet jo rehat, situata \u00ebsht\u00eb e pap\u00ebrshtatshme, e v\u00eb n\u00eb pozita t\u00eb frikshme, \u00e7uditshme dhe t\u00eb cenueshme, n\u00ebse i qasesh duke i th\u00ebn\u00eb ose shkruar fjal\u00eb ofenduese (nuk e di p\u00ebrse do t\u00eb funksiononte kjo m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb), insiston q\u00eb ta pranoj\u00eb p\u00ebrparimin t\u00ebnd p\u00ebrmes mesazheve t\u00eb panum\u00ebrta, i thua komplimente t\u00eb vazhdueshme pavar\u00ebsisht se asnj\u00eb prej tyre nuk pranohet, at\u00ebher\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb momenti kur duhet t\u2019i thuash \u201cmjaft\u201d vetes, pasi kjo ka shkuar p\u00ebrtej flirtimit dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb tashm\u00eb ngacmim. N\u00eb momentin kur \u201cjo\u201d-ja ose indiferenca e nj\u00eb personi nuk merret parasysh dhe tentimi nga ana tjet\u00ebr nuk ndalet, sjellja \u00ebsht\u00eb ngacmim e jo m\u00eb flirtim. N\u00ebse i shkruan dikujt mesazh dhe ai person e sheh, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 n\u00eb rastet e rralla kur harron t\u00eb t\u00eb kthej\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje, \u00ebsht\u00eb shenj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb bisedoj\u00eb me ty. N\u00ebse ti e ndalon ndonj\u00eb person n\u00eb udh\u00eb dhe ia k\u00ebrkon numrin e telefonit dhe personi refuzon, m\u00eb beso q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shenj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb bisedoj\u00eb me ty. Dhe m\u00eb beso q\u00eb n\u00eb rast se je duke ecur dhe k\u00ebrkon t\u2019ia t\u00ebrheq\u00ebsh v\u00ebmendjen ndonj\u00eb femre duke fishk\u00ebllyer, mjaullir\u00eb ose duke b\u00ebr\u00eb zhurma qensh, t\u00eb vetmet gj\u00ebra q\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00ebsh jan\u00eb zogjt\u00eb, macet ose qent\u00eb e lagjes. Le t\u00eb mos hyjm\u00eb m\u00eb thell\u00eb te m\u00ebnyrat e arritjes s\u00eb kontaktit me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, por le ta v\u00ebm\u00eb pak veten n\u00eb pozita t\u00eb tilla. Pyete veten: a do t\u00eb doje t\u00eb ishe n\u00eb vendin e njeriut q\u00eb bezdiset vazhdimisht nga dhjet\u00ebra shit\u00ebs sa her\u00eb q\u00eb del n\u00eb rrug\u00eb? A do t\u00eb doje ti q\u00eb n\u00eb ato \u00e7aste kur ke dal\u00eb n\u00eb park p\u00ebr t\u00eb pushuar, t\u00eb t\u00eb afroheshin dhjet\u00ebra njer\u00ebz e t\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin di\u00e7ka prej teje? A do t\u00eb doje t\u00eb prishej qet\u00ebsia jote vazhdimisht p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb interesit t\u00eb dikujt tjet\u00ebr, pavar\u00ebsisht se ti nuk ke interes t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt?<\/p>\n Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb dallimi mes flirtimit dhe ngacmimit. Tek e para ndjenjat dhe interesi jan\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt dhe nuk ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb kap\u00ebrcehen kufij t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebsjelljes njer\u00ebzore p\u00ebr ta marr\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e tjetrit. Tek e dyta ndjenjat dhe interesat nuk p\u00ebrputhen, a kufijt\u00eb kap\u00ebrcehen dhe imponimi i nj\u00ebr\u00ebs pal\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shqet\u00ebsues dhe bezdis\u00ebs p\u00ebr pal\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n Kur t\u00eb jesh n\u00eb dyshim se n\u00ebse je duke qen\u00eb shqet\u00ebsues ose bezdis\u00ebs, vetes mund t\u2019i jap\u00ebsh p\u00ebrgjigje me nj\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb: \u201cPo t\u00eb isha un\u00eb personi tjet\u00ebr, a do t\u00eb m\u00eb bezdiste kjo sjellje?\u201d dhe n\u00eb pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb rasteve p\u00ebrgjigjja do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e qart\u00eb dhe e leht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u kuptuar.<\/p>\n Synimi i k\u00ebtij shkrimi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb na b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb mos t\u00eb tentojm\u00eb t\u00eb komunikojm\u00eb apo t\u00eb flirtojm\u00eb m\u00eb, por \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb na shtyj\u00eb ta v\u00ebm\u00eb n\u00eb mbikqyrje sjelljen ton\u00eb. T\u00eb na shtyj\u00eb t\u00eb krijojm\u00eb nj\u00eb mend\u00ebsi t\u00eb re dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb plot\u00eb mbi kuptimin e fjal\u00ebve \u201cdinjitet njer\u00ebzor\u201d dhe \u201ct\u00eb sillesh si njeri.\u201d P\u00ebr disa shoq\u00ebri n\u00eb bot\u00eb si\u00e7 duket kuptimi dhe praktikimi i k\u00ebtyre fjal\u00ebve \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb a p\u00ebr disa m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb dhe ndoshta do t\u00eb duhet mjaft koh\u00eb gjersa edhe n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb ky bot\u00ebkuptim t\u00eb futet thell\u00eb n\u00eb vet\u00ebdijen ton\u00eb. Mir\u00ebpo, e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb fillohet. E r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb kuptohet q\u00eb me njer\u00ebz duhet t\u00eb sillemi \u201csi njer\u00ebz\u201d q\u00eb n\u00ebnkupton t\u00eb kesh respekt dhe vler\u00ebsim p\u00ebr njeriun para teje, e nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht t\u00eb kesh mir\u00ebkuptim ndaj k\u00ebrkesave dhe d\u00ebshirave t\u00eb tyre. Imponimi \u00ebsht\u00eb luft\u00eb, flirtimi nuk k\u00ebrkon luft\u00eb. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb e kemi t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn p\u00ebr ta jetuar jet\u00ebn t\u00eb pashqet\u00ebsuar nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, dhe askush nuk e ka t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn q\u00eb ta trazoj\u00eb jet\u00ebn e dikujt.<\/p>\n Imagjinojeni k\u00ebt\u00eb situat\u00eb: Jeni duke ecur rrug\u00ebs dhe rast\u00ebsisht jua pret udh\u00ebn nj\u00eb shit\u00ebs ambulant or\u00ebsh. \u201cShikoje k\u00ebt\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb or\u00eb origjinale! Blije se e ke me gjysm\u00eb \u00e7mimi.\u201d Ti me fytyr\u00eb indiferente e refuzon me mir\u00ebsjellje \u201cJo, faleminderit, s\u2019ia kam nevoj\u00ebn or\u00ebve.\u201d \u201cShikoje, shikoje!\u201d t\u00eb thot\u00eb. Ti nuk i kthen p\u00ebrgjigje. Ai vazhdon t\u00eb t\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":10362,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[46,133],"class_list":["post-10361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-seen","tag-ngacmim","tag-seen"],"yoast_head":"\nSHKRIMI \u00cbSHT\u00cb SHKRUAR EKSKLUZIVISHT P\u00cbR\u00a0MOLLEKUQJA.MK. T\u00cb DREJTAT E PUBLIKIMIT I KAN\u00cb VET\u00cbM\u00a0MOLLEKUQJA.MK DHE AUTORI, SIPAS MARR\u00cbVESHJES MES TYRE.<\/h5>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"