Trëndelina Deari is more than a breast cancer patient; she is a symbol of resilience, courage, and love for life. Her story inspires every woman to understand that she is not alone and that inner strength can be greater than any diagnosis.
The story of Trëndelina Deari, a sociologist from Gostivar, is one of perseverance. A woman who has endured many difficult trials in a short period of time; the loss of her mother, a serious surgery, and the tragedy of an accident that took her daughter’s life. And as if these were not enough, she now faces another challenge: breast cancer.
Yet, she does not see herself as a victim, but as a fighter. Throughout this journey, Trëndelina has chosen not to hide, to speak openly, to write poetry, and to be an example of inner strength. Her power rises above fear and pain. She is living proof that hope never dies, even in the darkest days.
Below is her honest account about life, illness, and the love for her daughter, who remains her greatest source of strength.
- How did you feel when you first learned your diagnosis?
The moment I learned the diagnosis was incredibly difficult. I was in a deep emotional crisis.
I had just lost my mother, the greatest support of my life, and it hadn’t even been a year since a major arm surgery. It was a double shock.
- What was your first thought at that moment?
My first thought was: even if I die, my daughter Andina and my mother will be waiting for me, but I must gather my strength and live for Rina (my other daughter). It was a deep clash between pain and determination.
- How are you coping with chemotherapy, both physically and emotionally?
Chemotherapy is a battle of its own. The whole time you feel like you’re in delirium, in agony. In one of my poems, I called it a “time vacuum” — somewhere between this world and the next. There are emotional crises, mood swings, hallucinations, but after four or five days, the body and mind begin to calm down… until the next therapy approaches, bringing anxiety again.
- What has been the most important source of support for you during this journey?
My greatest support has been my family: my daughter and my father, for whom I must keep fighting. Open conversations have helped me a lot, as well as the fact that I haven’t hidden my illness, writing poems where I express my feelings, and the support of close friends who are by my side every moment.
- Have there been moments when you felt very strong and others when you felt completely broken?
Yes, with this illness, there is no middle ground. Either you’re completely broken and desperate, or you gain the strength of a beast and never give up. Every day is a battle, and the part of us that wins is the one we feed the most.
- How has your outlook on life changed after this experience?
After the tragic accident two years ago, when I lost my daughter and my other daughter and I were seriously injured, my perspective on life changed. I realized that nothing is in our hands. This illness was another hit for me and reminded me how small and powerless we are against our fate. Now I live every day as if it were my last. I cheated death once in that accident, this is the second time. I’m waiting for the third one, as they say “third time’s a charm”… (laughs).
- What gives you strength every day to keep going?
My greatest strength comes from my daughter, who looks up to me as an example, as a heroine. The courage of women who have gone through this challenge also inspires me, as do the memories of my mother, who fought uterine cancer and survived.
- Do you think society understands what a woman with breast cancer goes through?
I think awareness is greater than it used to be, but unfortunately, we still think, “As long as the fire is in someone else’s house, we’re fine.” Society should do more in terms of free checkups, psychological support, financial assistance, etc. This disease is not only physical; it’s also very expensive and spiritually draining.
- What message would you give to other women who have just received this diagnosis?
God challenges strong women. Nothing happens by accident. You are stronger than a diagnosis, stronger than cancer. For every reason to fall, there are a hundred reasons to fight. Life is still beautiful.
- How do you see your future after treatment?
I have many plans. I want to go to Umrah, a lifelong dream of mine. Then, I want to open an association for women affected by cancer and continue my PhD. Above all,
I want to stay alive to see my daughter graduate. She was three years old when I separated from my husband, and I’ve tried to make sure she never lacks anything. I pray to God every day to grant me life long enough to see her walk her own path.
- You’ve also had a strong example in your mother…
Yes. My mother had uterine carcinoma. The doctors gave her no hope, but she said, “I will have the surgery and I will live, I have three children who are waiting for me.” She had a positive outlook, and she was strong, unshakable. She lived 24 years after the diagnosis and died of heart failure, not cancer. She was a true example of feminine strength. I hope I inherit her luck and her strength.
- Has your diet or lifestyle changed?
I’m not the most disciplined patient (laughs). I try to eat healthily, include fruits and vegetables in my diet. I’ve never smoked or drunk alcohol. I was a dancer for eight years, lived a healthy life, and still, I happened to have cancer. That’s why I want to live my life on my own terms, without thinking every
day that I’m sick. To me, the biggest enemy is stress and negative thoughts.
- How can we turn fear into courage?
Fear is always there, serving as a defense mechanism. But when you face the greatest loss in life, like losing a child, fear loses its power. What remains is the courage to keep going. You can’t erase fear, but you can turn it into armor to fight. Life is a battle, and it’s not the strongest who win it, but those who dare.
- Hope doesn’t know cancer?
Yes. Hope is a part of life. Even on the darkest days, it appears as a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially when cancer is discovered in its early stages, the chances of recovery are very high. Don’t think “it won’t happen to me.” It knocks when you least expect it. But with strength, courage, faith in yourself and in God, every woman can defeat it.
