In a society where gender equality is articulated as a value but not implemented as one, renouncing inheritance remains a normalized phenomenon, a silent yet powerful form of economic violence against women. It does not leave bruises, but it does leave deep marks on women’s lives, choices, and futures. This form of violence is carried out through cultural pressure, customs, expectations, and the “shame” inherited from generation to generation. Within the framework of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, let us reflect on the domination of this type of “respect” that for years has economically impoverished and held women and girls emotionally hostage in many families.
Article 3 of the Law on Inheritance is clear in guaranteeing full equality between women and men in inheritance. However, the reality is entirely different. In practice, women rarely appear in inheritance proceedings because their presence is considered unnecessary and excessive, while most of them “voluntarily” sign renunciations, leaving all property to the brother or the man of the house. I do not know how many of them are aware that this act is not an act of free will, that it does not express love toward their brother, husband, or son. This act is the result of systematic pressure legitimized by tradition and a mentality inherited since the Code of Lekë Dukagjini. From childhood, girls are taught that “the share does not belong to them,” that receiving inheritance “enriches the husband,” that taking their share is “shameful,” “immoral,” “destructive for the family,” an expression of “egoism and greed for the brother’s portion.” Our girls fear exclusion, harsh labels, and the breakdown of sister-brother relationships. But I, and a part of this society that respects family, parents, and children, call these actions some of the most blatant forms of violating family values. This violence is invisible on the body, but very powerful. Silent, yet very harmful.
The patriarchal system that is predominant in many of our families labels women as “belonging to another household”, as someone who leaves the home (the daughter) or comes as a guest (the bride), someone who has no right to inherit from her family of origin, but also cannot build economic security in her new family, as she often enjoys no property rights there either. In practice, immovable property acquired during marriage is registered almost exclusively under the husband's name, creating a distorted legal reality that harms women’s economic security and exposes them to inequality and economic dependency. Thus, registering property solely in the husband’s name, excluding the mother from inheriting the deceased father's estate, pressuring daughters to renounce their share in favor of brothers, and many other unlawful and unethical situations create a chain of women’s economic impoverishment. In Balkan families, particularly in Albanian ones, this practice is so widespread that it has turned into an unwritten and highly respected norm. Renouncing inheritance does not affect only the woman. When she signs a renunciation statement, she is often unaware that she is withdrawing not only for herself but also for her children, denying them their right of representation. This is double discrimination: against herself and against her descendants, who become “unworthy” to inherit property created by the grandparents and not by the maternal uncles.
One of the main reasons for women’s exclusion is lack of information, which silently harms them and which they often pass on to their daughters, daughters-in-law, and sisters. Few women know that property acquired during marriage is joint property regardless of whose name it is registered under. Even fewer know that joint property is not counted as part of the inheritance mass. She, and only she, has the right to request that marital property be divided equally, with her share not treated as inheritance. Likewise, few women are aware that they cannot be excluded from inheritance without personally signing; that no one has the right to “speak on their behalf”; that they may initiate cancellation proceedings if someone has acted without their knowledge or by misleading, deceiving, or threatening them. This lack of information is not naivety, it is a danger that creates additional consequences. It feeds structural poverty that affects women during and after marriage, especially when they are unemployed or engaged only in unpaid domestic labor. This violates their right to financial stability. It forces them to endure all other forms of violence because they lack moral, material, and familial support.
Why does a woman not report violence? Why doesn’t she leave the vicious cycle of abuse? A woman without property rights is a woman without security, a woman who endures, a woman who compromises her dignity in marital crises. She remains trapped in an abusive marriage because she has nowhere else to go. No savings. No income. No inheritance. No home to return to, because she is told that “you leave this house in a white dress and return only in a shroud.” Renouncing inheritance does not bring only legal consequences, it also brings consequences of survival, consequences of enduring every other form of violence.
Gender justice in inheritance requires more than a change of law. This time, the problem is not with the law, since the law is clear, imperative, and equal. The problem is with the ingrained mentality, accepted and preserved with pride.
Today, more than ever, I address women, girls, mothers: Do not renounce your inheritance. It is your right. It is your dignity. It is your economic security. It is your children’s future.
And to the men, brothers, fathers: Do not take what does not belong to you. By law it is punishable, and by faith it is unacceptable. Do not build wealth on injustice and on violating your sister, wife, or daughter. Do not feed a system that impoverishes half of your family. Do not commit economic violence against your mother, wife, sister, or daughter.
If we want a just society, we must begin from our own homes, our own families. Equality is not created only through lectures, but at the family table, where the sister is called to inherit; where the mother is respected as an heir; where the wife is registered as an owner; where the son learns that wealth is not a privilege of his gender.
Girls, by renouncing inheritance, you do not strengthen family love, you only continue the tradition of inequality for future generations. You deprive yourself of the right to be treated as a person with equal rights and accept the role of “permanent guest,” both in your father’s home and your husband's.
Women and girls, do not give away so easily what belongs to you. Inheritance is your voice; it is your vital share. Do not be silent and do not allow anyone to take away what is rightfully yours, what is given from your parents, from your family of origin. Just like your brother, you are an equal child.
And finally: No matter how much I am criticized for “pushing girls and women toward disobedience to traditional norms,” for “inciting family conflict,” for “slandering families by convincing women to take what is not theirs,” I will not give up. I will always be their voice. I will guide them on how to react when they are not called to inheritance proceedings. I will guide them on how to claim their rights when others declare them nonexistent. I will teach them how to create “legal problems,” not to destroy the family, but to protect their legal dignity. Without hesitation and with full competence, I will show them what their full rights are, how to claim them, and how to realize them with dignity and courage. I will continue to advocate for girls, women, and mothers, just as I have done for myself.
